Two weeks ago I shared with you some words that God had given to me in my prayer and journal time. I was thankful to see where my weakness was and where sin stilled remained that I didn’t see before. It may sound strange, but I felt so stagnant in my faith that even this was movement. I was finally reaching, searching, wanting, asking for more. Revealing these things allowed me to lay down more of my stuff and see into my bad habits and coping methods to stress and chaos.
This last year has been a tough one for me. Only now am I able to start dissecting all of it. All lot of wisdom can come from hindsight. After my incredible weekend a few weeks ago, I felt revived, and humbled at the moments God gave me. I came home and had an onslaught of tasks, cranky kids, schedules to be managed, commitments to be met, bills to be paid, contractors coming and not coming to work, a new boiler getting put in, and more weekend retreats to prepare for. I didn’t share all that I had experienced with my family because coming home felt like getting down to business.
In this I watched as I let my soul become the stomping grounds to a major spiritual war. Godly things were revealed to me. I could see and hear and understand and was willing to make these small changes in my life because I knew that they would be good for me. I was ready to trust God in the deeper places of my heart and relationships.
When we are poised for spiritual growth, when we are taking risks in our lives and hearts to trust God to be enough for us and we say yes to him, I do believe we need to be aware of the enemy who is striving for our soul. These moments of growth, these moments in our lives, relationships, and ministry where godly things are happening, set the stage for the enemy to attack. Satan does not want growth. The father of lies does not want truth in our ears and hearts. He has no hold on us when we trust the Father, and so he will fight to keep us locked in.
I allowed that to happen to myself for the couple weeks after my incredible weekend. I didn’t see it then, but I see it for what is was now.
This weekend surpassed my weekend previously. I am aware now though of what lies ahead of me when returning home, and instead of turning into my old bad habits of coping with life, I will choose as much as possible to pray, to fight, and to read scripture to pour into my heart the wisdom of God.
It’s hard to do that in the daily grind of life, so if you could, please offer a prayer for me and all those that were at the district gathering in Indy this weekend. My greatest desire is that those high school students would find the courage to fight off temptation and grab hold of all that God has for them.
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