Thursday, February 7, 2013

A letter to my husband

My dear sweet husband,

Valentines day is coming.

You wrote a song once about how much you hate this day.  That really Valentines should be a day off from striving to love the ones you love all year long.  Love shouldn't exist within the confines of this one day.

Even though we both agree, it's kind of a silly holiday, we like that it reminds us to appreciate the ones we love.  To celebrate love wherever it exists. And to applaud the courage it takes to stick to love when it moves from a feeling to a commitment.

You, sweet husband of mine, are really good at giving presents.  Thank you for always trying to find something special that's just right for me.

This year though, I thought we could put aside the gift giving.  I don't want the candy or flowers or fancy dinner out, even though we've never done those things.

I don't want you taking your time away from us shopping for something that you heard me say I liked six  months ago because you know it would surprise me that you remembered.

I don't want you worrying about money, and trying to find the right thing that says, "I love you".

I thought I would make this easy for us, and just tell you what I want.

I want you to see me.  I mean really see me.

I want you to see past the sweat pants that I wear all winter long because its too cold to wear anything else.

I want you to see past my fabulous outfit that I put on to go out.

I want you to see past the mom who is in charge of the house and lives under a check list.

I want you to see beauty in  my aging, child bearing body, because those my dear are the trade offs of living a life time with someone and experiencing the joy of our children.

I want you to see beauty in the wrinkles on my face, because you caused most of the laughing ones and some of the worry ones.  Those are the scars you left on me.

I don't want you to say "I think you're wonderful", I want you to tell me WHY you think I'm wonderful.

I don't want you to say "I love you" I want to know WHY you love me.

What is it about me, specifically, that makes me amazing, or cherished, or lovable by you.  What sets me apart from every other woman you encounter.

In telling me WHY, you communicate that you still see me.  You see my goodness and you see my pain.  You see me every day, but do you notice me?  Do you notice the little things?

The other day you came into the kitchen, tugged at my hand to pull me away from the counter where I was prepping food.  You danced with me, right there in the middle of the kitchen.  You knew I was stressed  I had been in there all day, and you brought me relief.  You pulled me out of my crazy place, and put me in your arms.  You said nothing, we danced till the song was over and then you released me.

I felt seen in that moment.

You are good at noticing the little things and always thanking me for all I do.

This letter isn't written because you are bad at seeing me.

I write this letter because it is easy to go unnoticed behind the mom uniform, the chef's hat, the speaker's dress, the servants sweat pants, and the tired eyes.  It is so easy to get lost in those things.

Your words and encouragement seep into all those tired and broken down places.  When you see me, when you really see me, I feel...well, I feel like me.  Bright eyed, lovable, young, in love, appreciated, cared for.  I feel alive because someone sees me.  I am no longer the invisible frame that moves about the house making everything work for everyone else.

So, please, I don't want a present this Valentines day.

What would mean the world to me, is if you took a moment to see me, and told me again, why you picked me.

Your Wife


  1. I love this. This is why I like you so much. Or one of the many reasons. What a beautiful letter.

    Love you!

  2. its heart breaking how a relationship of 5 years would have all come to nothing if not for a help from a real and great Spell caster Dr AKWUKE:this is my story:my name is Natanie ,28years. from Canada .i had this guy i loved with all of my life and i mean all of my life!he was my every breath,life held no meaning without him.some few days to my birthday he came to my place and told me he would not be around for my birthday cause he had some very important business deals to complete,i accepted and did not complain cos of the love i had for him i could take on this faithful day i left for his apartment cos i was bored at home and not forgetting to mention,"i had his keys" on getting there i felt something strange in me so i decided to go to the bedroom straight instead of the living room,on getting there,behold!the sight of my life.there he was sexing the life of a girl younger than my age,i felt so betrayed and life held no meaning for me any cut the story short he broke up with me and ever since i have been begging him several times but he refused,am so confused.not until a friend of mine jessica Scott told me about this Great spell caster who help her bring her Boyfriend that break up with her for over 8 years and i contact him as fast as possible for behold my Man came back to me with love and caring and right now we are happily married. i m so happy and i Promise God that i must tell the hole world about this man called Dr Akwuke how he help me and if you are in any problems related to mine or some different problems for i tell you this day that this man Dr Akwuke will help you him via