If you were where we were, I'm sorry.

This blog is to remind me, beyond financial reasons, why my family does not go and eat out. If you were at Sweet Basil with my family this evening in Hurst, TX, I apologize. I did everything I could.

Let me preface by saying we have been out all day. We went to the Ft. Worth Stockyards, rode rides, went to the candy store, visited our cousins, had a picnic lunch and played basketball. I don’t know who thought it would be a good idea, but we loaded the kids into the car at 645pm and went to a great little Thai restaurant.

Noah is currently being a little clingy. Touchy feely almost to a creepy point. (No, I mean to a creepy point.) Hanging on me, kissing me, holding my hand. I just feel like screaming, “PLEASE I NEED SOME PERSONAL SPACE.” This I know will crush him, so I just scream on the inside and smile on the outside. “Thank you Noah. I love you too.”

Caleb currently has Ace Ventura hair. It’s really fantastic. After his bath, we brushed his hair backwards and then he went to bed. Viola awesome bed hair! He also has the Waller’s voice. By that I mean, his normal talking voice is automatically three notches louder than any other human on the planet. We’re just loud people, what can I say? So his voice is loud and his hair is loud. At least his clothes matched, today.

Lu is just Lu. Super cute, super chatty, super crabby of anything on the table. Her end of the table is void of anything that moves.

Here are some of the reasons we won’t be asked back:

• Caleb, “Hi madam. (to the waitress) How are you? My dad is not with us. His name is Paul This is my mom, her name is Danielle. This is Lu, my sister. I am Caleb and this is Noah. That is my nana and papa. We are a family. We don’t live in this world though. We live in the world of Minneapolis.”
• Throughout the first 15 min of dinner, my daughter proceeded to embarrass me for the first time ever. My kids are loud in everything they do, even filling their pants. I swear I have never heard grunting this loud, a face turn this red, and eyes scrunch so much… ever. I couldn’t believe it. It almost was so loud it wasn’t real. She just kept grunting and pushing and I swear someone got up and left the restaurant. Jan and I laughed so hard, I know I cried.
• Caleb decided to eat his meal looking straight into the sky eating with his eyes closed. He would also give a slight moan when it tasted good. Yes there he is with Ace/Conan breeded hair, eyes squeezed shut moaning at how good his food is, while his sister is taking the biggest dump of her life.
• Noah is holding my hand, sharing my food, eating off my fork, and sucking down a lemon. Weirdness all around.
• Caleb is trying to stab his chicken with a fork, but it won’t work. In trying and trying again, the chicken gets away, the fork plows into the ketchup bowl and it gets sent across the table. He tries again, and yes, for the second time, the ketchup container goes flying. Yes, all the while Lu is still pooping her best.
• Lu has had enough and I decided to let her walk around. I get up to follow her to prevent her from being inappropriate with other customers. While I am following her, I realize that Caleb and Noah are following behind me, not wearing shoes. We are now parading our crazy throughout this place, asking to be kicked out.
• I was trying to sing to Lu to distract her, cause yes, my singing is distracting. I decided to sing quietly, “You are my Sunshine”. Caleb comes up from behind my chair to sing along. This is what he sang, “You never know dear, how much you love me.” Yup, that’s right Caleb, girls around the world will one day agree. They will never know how much THEY love YOU. I giggled. It was really funny to me.
• The waitress at one point came over to see how we were doing. Lu grabbed her hand and just stared at it. She had her hand palm side up, and Lu was holding her thumb and pinky. She was practicing her pointing and would keep pointing all over this nice lady’s hand. We joked she was reading her palm, because while she was pointing, she was just babbling up a storm. So many noises and words were coming out of her. When the waitress asked if she was going to be rich, Lu pointed, looked up, shook her head up and down and said, “ooooooooooo”. The timing was uncanny.
• Lu also discovered her gag reflex. So after she was done making a scene that is better left to the privacy of your own bathroom, she decided to continue to shove her hand down her throat, gag and try to cough up a lung. We tried this more than six times. Geeezzz, kid how many other noisy things do we need to do tonight?

I will say, one point in our favor is that we left the restaurant without any broken dishes. Most likely, all the food on the floor under our table takes that point away.

Again, to the owners of Sweet Basil, I am very sorry, and can send a check for carpet cleaning tomorrow. Thank you Jan and Duane for taking a chance on us. It’s OK if you never want to take us out in public again. I understand.