How God pursues us

The greatest proof of Christ in my life is the body of believers.

It is amazing to me how alone I can feel in the day and then be so overwhelmed by the kindness of friends and family in my life. And I know I'm not alone, but when I spend all day with my kids, I am often alone in my thoughts and feelings. I feel alone when I need to figure out lunch. I feel alone when I have to say no to the treat and snack that the neighborhood kids offer my children and I'm tired of always saying no. I feel alone when I go to the grocery store and spend twice as much time scanning the ingredient labels on everything and trying to make sense of new food products and how to make it good for my kids to eat.

I feel alone and overwhelmed in my head.

Then...

I experience both my mother and mother-in-law calling ahead of our visit asking and checking for all the food they are going to prepare and making sure I don't have to think about it when I'm with them. They are thinking for me, and checking and making sure there is nothing in the house the family can't eat.

I get a facebook message from a friend saying she found a really great cake recipe that I can make for my kids! She was looking for me and wanted me to have it.

I get an email from a friend asking if its overwhelming if she looks for recipes for me and sends them to me. She doesn't want to overstep or overwhelm me. Truly? Someone else doing half the work for me! I welcome the help!

I have another gal in my life who truly, by the amount of time we spend together we should really just be acquaintances, but she feels like a very good friend. A three page email of encouragement and advice with helpful hints about where to shop, and what her family did, but mostly encouragement. I couldn't believe how fast it warmed my heart.

We joined another family for dinner tonight and my dear friend went to so much trouble to make sure that there was food we could eat, and always asked if it was OK if her kids had something different, so as not to bother my children. She went above and beyond to make sure we didn't feel left out but loved and cared for.

Then one of my favorites is for the last three months, one of my dearest friends brings a bag of groceries every time I see her. At first I just thought it was my birthday present, but no, every time I see her, she says, "I have a bag for you". She spends time, energy, and money looking, hunting, and reading labels for my family. She wants to find treats that I haven't discovered yet and help support us financially since she knows how much my kids eat and now we are almost all raw veggies and fruit people.

I know I have already used a lot of words, but somehow I can't find the right words to describe the depth of love I feel from these people.

Then in this moment, the depth and awareness is revealed to show me how God's greatest tool of getting into my world is through the community.

The church. (the church being the body of Christ)

The assembly of believers.

Faithful followers to long to love others with the love that has been poured into them.

Through people who may not believe but love as God would dream we all could love each other.

God has spoken plainly to me that although I may not meet with him every morning, and I carry far too much guilt and expectations of myself. And although I may feel alone, I am not.

He has not left me.

He sees me.

He hears me and my silent cries of frustration and emptiness.

He loves me through the people in my life. He reminds me I am not alone by the constant reminder of all the people who are rallying around us to support us. He chooses to provide financial help, emotional support, and loving encouragement through the words and actions of everyday normal people.

I can't help but choose to see God in these things. Even when I feel I have abandoned our quality time together, he is persistent to remind me that I am not alone.

When I feel alone, I have a tendency to close myself off, and who would know that better than the one who made me?

Thank you from the bottom of my heart Lord for pursuing me. For filling my life with love even when I don't deserve it.

Thank you Lord for the hearts of your people whom you have brought into my life. They long to follow you, serve others in your name and love as you loved them. They are such a strong example of what it means to love they neighbor.

I am always looking for the grand gesture, but have learned through this that is most often the small things that matter most and speak the loudest. I want to find the small things in others lives around me and share what has filled my heart.