Friday, July 29, 2011

Stick to your guns

This is for all those tired parents out there or caregivers to children.

This morning by 7am I had a pretty good idea of how bad the day was going to be. The kids were up extra early, around 615am. Both boys had accidents in their beds which is not normal, and Lu was hungry, but for nothing I was offering her. The battle lines drawn, I thought, is this really how today is going to be? It's still before 7!

Right at the get go, Big wanted to watch TV. Wherever you stand on the issue, it doesn't matter to me. In our house, we don't have a problem with TV, but its managed to a strong degree. (with the exception of sports games, a weekly movie, or when mom's sick and can't get up. We're human OK.) I don't like TV in the morning. I think it starts the kids off wrong, and then I can't use it later on in the day when it might be necessary. TV is often a reward, and if my kids don't ask for it, they don't get it. I try to keep them busy doing art and imagination activity.

So starting at 615am Big started asking for TV, which bugs me when he already knows the answer.

Before starting the diet this would have turned into a 45min battle, but now, he asks, I say No, and he humphs. Then he might ask 20min later, which he did, every 20min for over 1 1/2 hours this morning.

I was cranky and I really didn't want to fight this battle. I had Little growling at me, throwing herself on the floor because she wanted to hold her own banana, and Caleb trying to pour his own milk and spilling all over the counter and stool.

At this moment, TV would have been very easy. It would have cut down the whining, the spilling and the crying. But I HATE TV in the morning. (Again, I have no judgement for those families who do TV in the morning. Truly. I just don't want it on in our house.)

This blog isn't about TV. It's about the ability to find strength to fight for what you believe in. For parents and caregivers to listen to what the truth they live by and stick with it.

Kids cry, they whine, they argue, they debate, they create compromises, they are crafty and they wear us down. Or maybe that's just my family.

Kids wear you down. They wear down the standards you want to live by and it's not easy to stick to your idea, your plan, your philosophy of parenting. It is exhausting to keep with the plan, to explain your way, to continue to say No, or encourage them to get them to do a particular behavior.

When people say parenting is hard, that statement is true, but its also doesn't portray the depth of what it means. Constant is a good word. Demanding is another good one.

It's very difficult to battle everyday to make the family you are trying to create come true. I want to encourage you to find strength in the Lord and fight the good fight. Consistant spiritual discipline is very difficult with small children, so I want to encourage you to find whatever it is that will connect you to your creator and somehow find a time once a week to connect with him.

Find the strength to fight the good fight. Be the parent and stick up for what you believe in and how you want to parent your children to the standards you desire.

I explained to Big this morning that TV alienates him and his siblings from the rest of the family. That he was happily playing with his Lego's and using his imagination. We decided to put on some fun worship music and the kids had a dance party in the kitchen while I made eggs. After breakfast, the music continued to play, and the kids each individually found an activity they could do while I showered and they were singing together. They were joking about all of Little's attempted dance moves and words that she really isn't saying. They were interacting together. They were figuring out how to live in each other's space. More importantly they were being encouraged in their faith through the music they were listening to.

And I'm not gonna lie, the music also changed my behavior (the shower helped a lot in that regard as well, I'll be honest). Our family was participating in individual activities but still were learning to live with one another. The music and happy play set the tone for our day. A day of pleasure, summer fun, and harmony. In my opinion, TV would have just entertained and separated us. It would have divided us right from the get go. No interaction. No encouragement. No team work.

I desire for my children to know how to entertain themselves without the TV or computer or video games. I stuck to my guns this morning and was rewarded.

You will to. I will say it again. Stick to your guns on the issue that you want to give into because it would be easier.

No one ever said the road was easy. From one parent to another, be encouraged, you are strong enough to stick to your guns.

Just a heads up. 1. I don't always win. There are times where my kids watch TV in the morning because I truly am just too exhausted, or I want to stay and snuggle with my hubby on Saturday morning. We aren't perfect and I want you to know that. 2. This also means that you might need to interact more with your children or get their help with your chores, or set them up with an activity. But all of those things are really great options.

Good luck parents. I am praying for you. And as its really late, can you pray for me too! Thanks. Tomorrow morning might be hard!

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